Going with an untitled approach on
today's piece, let's take a moment and look forward through 2012. Over the
course of this post, I will come up with an apt title and entice your reading
time.
Everyone has done a piece or post on
the year gone by, but what about the year yet to go by and our ability to
forecast what's in store, how to prepare, engage, maximize and satisfy our need
for a fulfilling year? If I have confused you, then I recommend you read
Olivier Blanchard's post, The Last Year to get
caught up.
His theme is all about the present
and our need to engage in what's important, not what's gone. Yes, some of us
may have regrets, but we need to use all of that knowledge and plan a better
future for ourselves. How do you do that if you don't have the magic crystal
ball all these gurus of the world have? Easy; read a book or two, make amends
for past mistakes, buy your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband that overly
delayed valentine's present, take that trip to South America and volunteer for
a purpose beyond yourself. These are things I have needed to do and plan
to achieve over the course of this year. I also plan to take my thoughts and
turn them into actionable objectives.
Before the clock struck midnight, I
said that this year, I will try with my best effort to be more of the person I
want to be. My theme and hash tag is #My2012, while I seek inspiration from
Sander Kleinenburg's Renaissance Everybody.
Be road-rage-less: Seriously, stop yelling at everyone on the road. Just
because they don't have a legit license or upgraded from a donkey cart to a van
doesn't warrant any of my aggression every time they cut me off at an
intersection while it's legally my right of way. Chill, just drive like
them and you'll be just fine.
Act on looking good: Now, everyone loves a nice slice of chocolate cake
from their favorite bakery. Even a McFlurry from Mcdees can be a tempting
midnight surprise, but lay off! The calories really do add up and before you
know it, you are one with Jabba the Hut. Yes, I've said it; don't order
more than you know you shouldn't be able to handle. Doggy bags, although great,
are really not a good idea. You are going to microwave food that should ideally
be eaten fresh. Just don't order those extra crispy wings, stick to the salad
and entree. Stop talking about how fat every samosa or cheesecake slice
makes you and just eat a celery stick instead. Can' find any celery?
Just drink the Bloody Mary then. Make a healthy plan and keep doing it
until it's an inexcusable life-style choice.
Finish that project: Honestly dude, really got to finish up that project
that's been lingering for years. Each year it's a new excuse, so this year it's
going live and I'm going to make it succeed or fail, but with a concerted
effort to achieve completion. And trust me, people still need it; the
ones already out there just don't cut it. Don't just be a shark in a
fishbowl, be the Great White of the hand bowl.
Stop the critique: Even if they don't want to hear it, some of us
like to achieve perfection by finding flaws in the other guy. Don't! They don't
want to hear how bad their dress sense is or how annoying their tea drinking
can be. If it's a public act, then it will need to be somewhat disgusting, so
just let it go. This includes all of my nose-picking homies, bros and
bhaiyyas.
Pound-wise, penny foolish: Just like it says, save the big bucks and don't sweat
the smaller expenses. Make sure the tables don't turn though...the pennies can
add up to become the river you drown in (reference is debt in case you
REALLY didn't catch on). Liquefy your assets if you need to, just
keep the savings up and the expense account can go screw itself. Just
don't live like a pauper to prove a point, that insults the folks who really
can't buy a big mac at 3am on their way home from a farm party.
Blue, Red, just take a damn pill: Why are you so scared of chance? So what if you make a
mistake the first, second, third, fourth.....hundredth time? Eventually, one is
bound to work out and then you will be that guy on the radio and BBC sharing
the story of your struggle and how anyone can achieve happiness just by being
persistent (maybe even annoying). The threshold: Stop when you
annoy yourself. That means you have exceeded your attempts and
must consider alternative choices.
Say sorry & mean it: Saying sorry every time I complain isn't going to help
make things better. Will the lizard tail suddenly vanish from my soup? Will the
nasty gash on my car bumper suddenly mend itself? Will your eyes vomit the
relentless stare you just gave my wife? I think not, but you can vow to never
let it happen again...then ensure it doesn't. Once is ok, twice you're
just a jerk.
Lift the toilet seat: A general favorite; especially at public/office toilets.
It's a metaphor and it means be considerate of the 'other' people in
your community. If it's a Friday and you need to perform ablution,
then pray for repentance of your sins in the toilet first. Seriously, WTF! How
would you like it if you were a general lover of humanity who didn't think all
non-Muslims were destined for hell and you walked in on me while I was taking a
bath in the sink? I respect you, but I don't think you respect me. I can try not to
respect you if that helps, but then I'm definitely going to hell and
that's just not fair. What I don't get about this 'life-style' choice is, how
are you any cleaner if it looks like you've take a shower in a public birdbath?
Then there's the matter of public urination....stop it. Your not going to be a
better Muslim or person. Just live and let live; keep your relationship
with God to yourself because by telling me I'm bad isn't going to give you the
business class seat to heaven. 
Learn communal living rules: If you haven't lived in an apartment or community
housing before, probably best that you avoid it. In such settings, it is not
advisable to show everyone what you are cooking! If that isn't enough, then
maybe you could also either keep your kids indoors so they don't sound like
that annoying neighbors kid right outside your door trying to harass your cats,
ring your bell 'n run, kick the football against your window or sound like
Freddie frikkin Krueger is after them. Because we also HAVE to live
here, it might be best to avoid that awkward confrontation at the elevator. While
on the topic, please also refrain from parking diagonally, while blocking a
perfectly usable spot. With other people depending on the same space, send your
kids outside. Better yet, take them to the park and spend time with
them. Don't throw them out and get them up in my business, cause it ain't
'business time' all the time.
Baby on board: Have you noticed how most of the kids on airplanes are
either screaming their lungs off or running around like no one else is there?
It's your fault. Give them Dramamine before getting on the plane. My
mom did it and I turned out pretty alright (minus the twitches). In fact,
before you even buy the ticket, read this post and see if you can find an
alternative route that doesn't involve offering loud noises in small spaces as
a replacement for an already busted in-flight entertainment system. I've
decided not to have kids for a while...at least I can learn to control them in
public places and really act on respecting my surroundings. Recognize
the importance of public spaces, then respect that it's public so you should at
least look like you're trying to keep the racket to a minimum. A for effort, F
for ignorance.
Get in line & wait: Yup, that's right...I said STAND IN LINE!
Because saying it nicely once or twice doesn't seem to work. When you see one
'idiot' filing in behind another 'idiot', said 'idiot' might be onto something.
It's called efficiency. By creating a line of your own, one that is horizontal
to the one already there, does not make the process faster; it makes it
slower. Same applies to your ridiculous driving. Cutting in front and
blocking on-coming traffic doesn't make you get to your brother's baby shower
any faster, it makes it slower. When I'm standing in front of you
at the grocery store checkout queue, it's not because I was bitten by a rabid
dog - that only lead to my constant blackouts - the standing in line bit is all
my own doing. It means I am being patient, respecting the rules that allow
everyone a fair chance at getting a turn and don't make be stick out like an
asshole. I would have said sore thumb, but let's face it...you're an asshole
every time you cut the line. This counts for women too. I was told off for not
letting a women cut in front of me, after she cut in front of me and was called
out...by me. She said I must not have women in my household. Really? Be
polite and respect that others have an IBS issue as well.And lastly,
Recycle yourself: No, I don't mean to do this metaphorically or to throw yourself in the recycling machine; that would just lead to a gruesome death. This recommendation is for the wasteful; in addition to leaving the water , the car , the a/c and the heater running, the lights, the tv, and the trash on the floor (with or without J-Lo), try to be more conscious of your consumption. Just because you don't see it add up doesn't mean it isn't adding up. No gas when you need a hot shower in the morning you say? Well, that's why they invented hand sanitizer. Stock up and jump in. It even dries up if you stand out on your balcony, so no towel or washing machine use. Just be careful about showing your neighbors this nifty trick. They might call the police for unnecessarily displaying your 'self'. Be more respectful to the shortage of natural resources, then stop wasting them. If you just stop wasting them, you'll never really know why.
What started off as a personal reflection ended up being my 12 cardinal points on better living. Although mostly applicable to my part of the world, I'm sure the Eskimos and Amazonian's could also benefit. Everyone else just seems to have figured it all out, so no claims to enlightened fame.
So #My2012, I promise to
obide by the laws of the land and be a better man, woman, child, heathen,
monkey, politician, neighbor, brother, sister, colleague, random guy on the
road, overzealous lady at the grocery and Human.
Question is...can you
keep the #My2012 promises too?
No comments:
Post a Comment