Thursday, August 4, 2005

Terrorism - depends on how you look at it


It is funny how sometimes you think of one single thing that you want to write about, but there is so much to say you don’t have enough to go on. This is one of those moments, where I have just decided to write about American media, as if there isn’t enough material on them already, but one element that reinforces the way they do what they do.

I was reading an article in the NY Times about the Air France flight 358 incident in Toronto yesterday. Just a note, which I may or may not elaborate on, is how funny I find it that every sentence regarding some incident, whether it is an act of God / Nature, mechanical, electrical, merely an oversight or what have you, is always followed by some mention of whether terrorism had some hand in it.

"As a team of federal investigators began investigating the episode, the first serious accident involving an Airbus A-340 in its 12 years of service, officials said they suspected that the stormy weather was a factor. They also virtually ruled out terrorism." -- Bit from the article.

The funny thing about it is the average reader, I am presuming, requires that bit of information so that they know if it is still safe to step outside their house. Sure ‘Terrorism’ has terrorized the shit out of most of the west, some of the east and I think there are still some folks in the middle somewhere (j/k all the Arabs out there…mad luv to ma sand niggas). But then again, maybe if we boycott life altogether, stop going to work, buying groceries, meeting friends and family, going to bars ( for those lucky fokkers who can) and so forth, we might be completely safe. GENIUS! Maybe I should call up the patent office and get this idea branded as mine! ALL MINE!!! MUHAHAHA!

The mere fact of it is that you will go mad whether you decide it has any affect on your daily life, whether you avoid going out, or seal yourself in a basement with America’s favorite self-defense mechanism – the ‘Duct Tape’. Thank God for Home Depot, Amen!

Terrorism, according to Bush, is a tool used by people who profess a ‘certain ideology’. What’s wrong with me, Bush is an idiot, a guy who won the elections with votes from people who had an average IQ of 100 or LESS!! But coming back to Bush, political awareness is very important, to the effect that he is given the benefit of the doubt and is telling the truth when he pretends to protect America, along with the rest of the people….ugh I mean world.

John Bolton…how the fuck he made UN Ambassador on the part of the U.S.? Simple, he sucked bush’s *&%# and made for a temporary Monica Lewinsky. That bushy mustache got him the job with the organization he scrutinized tremendously. Kofi ain’t too happy about that by the way, but don’t tell him I told you.

You wanna know after all this mambo jambo what terrorism really is? Ok, I’ll give you both the layman definition as well as the Merriam-Webster definition respectively:

  1. Terrorism is an act committed by aggressors, which does not follow a moral code of conduct, nor does it adhere to traditional rules of combat between two or more parties in opposition, whether they use jungle warfare, full-frontal combat (like in Brave heart) or a Stab-you-in-the-back technique. There is also the Fly-a-passenger-airplane-into-large-towers technique, but that is still kinda new and we are working on adding that to the official list*.

  2. The dictionary version, I believe, should be
    1. An act committed in aggression due to last resort measures upon the oppressing party. E.g. The United States funding the Afghan militants to fight off the Red Army from Afghanistan during the Cold War, who (the militants) in turn bite back at the U.S. for leaving them high and dry after getting what they (U.S.) wanted – removal of the Soviets from a potential threat of spreading communism to South East Asia via Afghanistan, Pakistan and India, among other countries.

    2. An Act of intrusive penetration into an organization of global human welfare, with intent to gain some element of control and power, so as to take unfair advantage of at a time of need. E.g. John Bolton as a representative of the United States, a harsh critic of the U.N. and asshole of the highest order, who will be provided, in his lap atop a silver tray, the Power of VETO.

For those of you who don’t know what VETO is, go back to your mom and dad and stop reading this blog, you are already not old enough.

The latter sounds more like a Frankenstein sort of story…if you think about it, it kinda is.

Anyway, the point of it all being that the US is just as a terrorist as Osama bin Laden (who I think is a total dick too, so please remember that I am comparing Bush to Osama on the same level as being terrorists, as opposed to being for either of them. The only difference is, Osama is not as well dressed (come on, let’s give bush an ‘A’ for effort with the poorly coordinated suits over Osama’s rags and turban look…the latter is so last season!) and a LOT smarter. Smarts used for a terrible terrible cause, yet quite effective, which gets Cattle-Ranch Bush on his Spurs crying, “He tried to kill ma daddy”.

Think about that boys ‘n’ girls.

Leave a comment….or two

*There is no official list and both definitions are completely fabricated by me to the effect that they reflect my opinion and not of any other individual or organization, official or unofficial. That’s my disclaimer so piss off!

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